great day for a birthday

Two years has come and gone in what seems like the blink of an eye.  I try to really focus on those new things that Audrey is doing and loving all of those little things I know won't always be that way.  I find that I stop and think more and more everyday on whether what I am doing at the moment can wait.  You know, so many of us get preoccupied with the e-mails, facebook, and all of that stuff that we forget to sometimes stop and enjoy our little ones.  We get caught up in work ,cleaning, or tidying, all stuff that, in my case, can wait.  Well, except vacuuming, that can't wait until nap because it would simply wake her up.  Cooking has turned into something we do together, cleaning waits until naps or nights. I am better about turning off and tuning in to Audrey.  Does that mean I am perfect?? Hell No! But, I try really hard to be the best mama possible.  When a fun package comes in the mail, even something I have been waiting for, I wait to open it.  I know if I open it the second I get it my attention won't be on Audrey and I might miss those little moments that I cherish.  Those little moments where she brings me a book and says "read mama" or where she says "I missed you mama" 10 minutes after I walked in the door and gives my leg a big hug and says "hold you"   I have a mantra that is on my dream board that is in out bedroom. It is something I see multiple times every day and I repeat it frequently "I took a deep breath and let it go"  I have been taking 2013 to really focus on the positive even in a tantrum or fit and really focus on what sparked it and talk through it.  My wish for Audrey is for her to have a better mama every day someone who takes full advantage of every moment, kiss, hug, and snuggle because one day I know there will be far less of all of that.  I want to be sure she has all of the tools to be the best person possible to be non-judgmental, loving, caring, and sharing. I want her to have control in her emotions and be able to decide in the heat of anger  whether to take a deep breath or go on saying whatever it is, but at least she will have that knowledge.  I couldn't ask for a more beautiful little girl, inside and out. She is pure joy! Even in those moments that are not the best, I still find good.  She is incredible and was from the moment I saw her.  Of course, I knew the moment I found out I was pregnant that I was having a little girl who would have blue eyes, blonde curly hair, and her name would be Audrey! 

Audrey and Sophie (Carlo's parents dog)

throwing the ball to her best friend, Eli.

walking in the park at night

the wish lantern

Audrey January 28, 2013

Audrey January 28, 2011

family photo  January 28, 2013

first family photo January 28, 2011

let her eat cake....safe cake that is!

Okay....so here are the rest of the pictures from Audrey's fantastic birthday bash!!  The little ones really  did have a total blast on the "big slide"  oh and check out this link to our friend's vlog post.  It's too cute to watch them all sliding and playing!!  I  figured pictures and the recipe for her cake would work well for this post.  So...here goes.

GF birthday cake

I took Carol's awesome recipe and made a few of my own changes.  I only used the cake recipe.

So...here are my changes and recommendations.

for my flour blend, I used Pamela's Ultimate Baking Mix. (if you are GF and don't know about this stuff it's pretty amazing and a staple in our pantry)
I used 1/2 c. honey and 1/4 c. organic sugar instead of the 1c. of sugar ( I always try to cut out sugar entirely or almost entirely)
instead of milk I used hazelnut milk (I don't buy that but was given a bunch of it so...that's what I use in my baking at the moment, almond or soy milk would work just fine too)
I used almond extract instead of vanilla (honestly I was out of vanilla and in the end preferred the almond taste)
I also used blackberries instead of blueberries and did NOT divide them.  I mixed them all with that small amt. of flour and created that bottom layer with berries  It added nice color and flavor
I also did not use any cherries or maraschino juice either

I doubled this recipe and divided it into two 8 inch circles

Here is the frosting recipe.  It is amazing.  I followed it exactly and just added orange natural food color. You can get the set from here (I ordered all of the colors)


Alright so...now for the fun part, the pictures!

testing out the slide!

this is M's little brother, A.  He is such a cute little chunk!

Lane and Amelia! So...cute!

everyone hanging out and enjoying the weather!

blowing out her candles. She did a wonderful job

her face while everyone was singing HappyBirthday was truly priceless!!

Amelia had a blast throwing the ball

M and Audrey heading up the slide with Carlo and our nanny

M is such a cutie!!

sometimes slides require acrobats

Audrey and I had a blast going down the slide together

Lane and Amelia sliding away!!

papa and the birthday party girl!

we tried to get all three to go down together but someone always jumped the gun!

Elf on the Shelf

So....I have heard of this Elf on the Shelf thing and honestly thought it was utterly creepy. A little doll watching you, did I mention I am CREEPED out by dolls.  This little face was no exception.  I didn't like the idea that this doll watches kids to be sure they aren't naughty. I especially didn't like that.  Well, we had an early Christmas this weekend and lo and behold Audrey gets an elf on the shelf, and guess what??  It's not as creepy as it looks online in pictures.  It doesn't creep my out and more importantly Audrey thinks it's cool to find her in the mornings. Yes, she is a girl with little white earrings.  It's pretty cute.  I am having fun hiding her.  I know as the years go on this Elf will be SUPER mischievous because.....well, that's how Carlo and I are.  We are pranksters to the core. Carlo more so than me, but I have my fair share of ideas.  The one thing we refuse to incorporate is the naughty or nice thing.  I don't like the idea.  I believe all children deserve something for Christmas and don't like the bribery of if you're naughty Santa won't come type of thing.  It just seems wrong in my eyes.  So....for Audrey our elf is here to watch the presents to make sure they aren't opened until Christmas.  She is also here to make sure the stockings stay empty. I foresee some fun tricks with the stockings possibly next year, that is of course if Audrey is still game.  I believe that if Audrey does not want to do something that is voluntary like sitting on Santa's lap, and of course her elf then it's no big deal.  I follow her lead, no need for a scared little girl over something silly.  Tonight her Elf, who will remained unnamed until she is old enough to begin naming her dolls and animals, is chilling in our bowl of ornaments on our dining room table and keeping watch over the stockings.  Tomorrow night she may just have a tea party with a few animal friends!  Is it just me or is it WAY more fun for the adults to do this!?

pushing and grabbing

First off, sorry for the hiatis. I have a lot to write but have been uninspired to do anything but well veg out and watch TV AKA Modern Family Season 3.  I have 4 posts in draft with a few lines written but I write when passion strikes.  I don't want lack luster posts, YUCK. I mean who wants to read something like that,  seriously!  Anyway, I will keep updating,thanks for the patience with the new job and all.  It is still an adjustment and I take it week by week with lots of breathing.  It involves prepping EVERYTHING at night: note to nanny, Audrey's lunch, dinner for the next day, what I am wearing, what I need to bring/copy, vacuuming, mopping, cleaning, oh and exercising.  I can't always get out to do our 5 mile bike ride so I turn to the NY city ballet and ballet beautiful DVD's to help me out.  Anyway, I digress.....

Pushing and grabbing is a normal part of a child's development and it is not something they do to be "naughty" or "mean".  Audrey has had one of her friend's over a couple times in the past couple of weeks and she went over there once as well.  The two girls love each other, they hug and kiss and hold hands.

They also push, more so Audrey, her friend does so more in defense because Audrey wants whatever she has.  It could be a crayon, or the mop.  If she has it, Audrey wants it.  This is a tough issue to deal with, let alone deal with calmly.  It involves fits from Audrey and lots of saying "Your friend has that, when she is done then you can see/have it"  Audrey understands that but doesn't like it so she goes and grabs it again which causes her friend to push her back.  I always try to give a distraction.  If  her friend has the pink crayon and Audrey says pink and reaches for it I ask if she can use the pretty orange crayon and then make a big deal about it by telling her "Oh I LOVE that orange, what a pretty picture you are coloring"  We have two brooms, but one mop. Her friend loves the mop and so does Audrey, more so than the broom.  I simply pick that up because neither wants a broom while the other has the mop but two brooms are no problem.  It is all about diffusing the situation.  Time-outs are something little ones don't understand.  I believe in talking about it.  Carlo and I have started saying "Audrey, I need your eyes and your ears" and then tell her we don't grab this because or we don't hit or push our friends we touch gentle, can you hug your friend.  I think some of this behavior is Audrey simply wanting more "me" time honestly.  She has always had me and no one else during the day but now I am gone for 8-10 hrs a week, granted most of it is during nap time, I TOTALLY planned it that way, but still.  I realize that this behavior is simply Audrey's way of saying I need more mama time to read a book or play outside or do something aside from run errands and vacuum and all of that stuff.  I see this as a BIG slow down button.  Yes, I have 20 million things to do and I am good about putting them off until after Audrey has gone to bed.  Mornings are crazy and it is spent with me getting hair and make-up fixed and grabbing breakfast and making copies sometimes and blah blah blah.  Not to mention her nanny gets here and then all she wants is me, which is typical.  It is time to SLOW DOWN and dance a little more with her and be silly a little more with her and not worry about the disaster that the house is.  I am type A personality without a doubt I am high strung, I like things to be orderly and to go in a certain way.  I loosened up a lot when I had Audrey and am back to super type A again.  This pushing and grabbing is a phase as well I know, but this big change with me working maybe sped things up a little.  I know I have a well adjusted little girl who simply needs more me time.

For those of you AP parents going through this stage here are a list of links with some great ideas.

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/faq/html/disciplinefaq.php

http://www.naturalchild.org/naomi_aldort/toddler.html

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior/morals-manners/11-ways-teach-your-child-share

http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-aggressive-toddlers

http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-taming-a-too-rough-toddler

http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-toddler-hitting

There's a Better Way

Down here in the deep south spanking is normal.  From what I have found, you can ask the majority of people my age and find out that of course they were spanked as a child, I was.  Whether it be with a belt, slipper, wooden spoon, or by hand, it was and still is considered "normal".  I witness parents threatening their very young children, they are usually around 2 or 3, "if you don't share and let her go first, you will get a spanking, do you want a spanking?"   While getting Audrey into her babyhawk on my back, I saw a cute little 2 year old girl from a distance.  After getting Audrey situated in the babyhawk we walked past the car where we saw the little girl while heading into the store and what I heard upset and shook me to my core.  I could hear this little girl screaming "mommy no!!" while crying hysterically.  The mom was screaming "when I say NO, that means no, you need listen little girl, you spilled all over my car" then I heard the mom spanking her, or in my point of view beating the crap out of her.  It was horrible!!  It took every ounce of energy I had to not full on cry and walk over there and tell that mom something.

  2 year olds do things for a reason, NOT to be mean.   Audrey will shriek if we are carrying on conversation in the car and not paying attention to her.  I could yell or scream back at her, but how pointless is that?  Instead, we ask her to please use her inside voice and ask her "how does the deer go"  silly I know, a deer doesn't make a sound but in our house the deer goes "Shhhh" because well if you want to see a deer you must be quiet. This was Carlo's awesome creation!  Audrey spills or dumps something over, usually water on a daily basis.  Toddlers do things out of curiosity.  I know Audrey pours water onto the floor from her cup because it splashes when it hits the ground and it is neat to see a puddle form.  I just give her a simple reminder when I see her tip her straw cup and say "drink goes in your mouth Audrey, not on the floor"  If she makes a mess it's simple I grab a towel and say "when we spill something we need to clean up our mess, will you help me clean this please" whatever we don't get with the towel she mops up on her own with her little mop.   Carlo and I both get frustrated when she takes and dumps out the puppies water, but we get mad at ourselves not her.  We get upset because we didn't watch her close enough around the water. We know she likes water and LOVES to dump it out.  If the puppies are in we leave the water down and it takes watching and reminding to not have water all over our floor.  I tell her "Audrey, we leave the puppies water.  That is the puppies, Audrey has her drink and the puppies have theirs, please leave it my love"  If she dumps it out then we grab a towel and do the same thing if she had dumped her drink out.  It isn't a big deal.  So what, things spill, food gets on clothes, that is being a parent.  We feel that spankings and time outs are pointless.  Instead we talk about it explain why we don't do something and move forward, not big deal.  Along with us thinking spanking is wrong countless studies are coming out showing what spanking does. Here is a GREAT article by the Huffington Post. Of course I disagree on the vaccine part but that is a different topic altogether  I have to say, I have a problem with anger.  When I get angry I feel the need to hit, kick, or punch.  I don't doubt if there were a link to the anger I have now to the spankings I received on those occasions.  Of course, I have re-directed this anger.  I breathe in and out or simply say "I need 5 minutes" to Carlo and take a moment to think.  I have also taken on the mantra "This moment is as it is, let it be" and move forward.  I am a better person because of these.  I want Audrey to not have the anger that I do and to not be feared by either Carlo or I, EVER!  I remember that fear, it is an awful feeling, one that no child should feel.  I am saying all this because of that little girl in the parking lot  and how the situation brought tears to my eyes and a sense of anger towards that mom.  A child can't defend themselves against an adult.  Please think about your actions, children emulate our every move.  If we act out with violence, chances are good that they will too.

staying afloat

Starting a job is such a daunting experience. This past week I just taught studio class and a lesson, but it's been a crazy week for me.  I feel at the moment like I am drowning since this is all so new.  I am not just working with my normal schedule and my private lessons anymore I am dealing with 5 college students schedules, a nanny's schedule, me and Audrey's schedule, and still have loads of questions.  Requirements and paperwork and getting my own keys and blah blah blah.  I want to do things right but am just feeling like stuff is back firing. I even missed my chiropractor appt. I put the wrong day on my calender even though I had the right time on a little calender that was right  above my calender!!  Best part is  when I rescheduled I couldn't remember the time I was told 2 seconds later!  It is nuts.  I have a calender in the kitchen, 1 in my studio and a planner and I still can't seem to get things together.  I have copies to make, worksheets to blow the font up on, and work to do for this Friday.  I just want to spend time with my little girl and not have my brain elsewhere.  This week is  my first full week and I already had to cancel a lesson due to scheduling error.  I forgot that my nanny said the first time we met her that she had training on certain days and then scheduled a lesson during that time.  This lesson I scheduled was during Audrey's nap time and I couldn't find anyone to watch her short notice.  I know this will get easier, but at the moment I am just trying to stay afloat.  I feel like I hit the jackpot with faculty because they are all amazing and have been willing to help any way possible.  I don't like letting myself, Audrey or Carlo down or the pups either. I don't like not being fully present around Audrey.  Last night I  sat down and got my schedule completely together so there are no if ands or buts.  I now have to be more scheduled than I have ever been I suppose that is the responsibility that come with being a college professor.  We have already been off and running this morning, not literally, but running to ULL 2 times before Audrey's nap!!!! On top of that we are trying to get a few extra things together for Isaac.  He will only be a Cat.1 so there is really no worry.  There will probably be a lot of trees down with the high winds simply because the ground is so.....saturated already due to the massive amount of rain we have been getting.  With trees down there are power outages so that is why we are getting a few things together.  In any case, I know things will settle down and I will find a good groove but for now it's all very daunting and a crazy balancing act.  With some positive thinking and lots of deep breaths, I know that I will get through this of course seeing this cheesy grin when I leave and when I get home helps me BIG time!

                                            

toddler and brushing teeth

 Audrey is NOT a fan of brushing teeth.  She was not always like this, this is really a new thing.  She wants to do it herself but simply doesn't do the best job.  She likes the idea but won't let us "help" her.  Here's a link I found.  So far it is working well.  Audrey brushes mama's teeth and mama brushes Audrey's teeth.  I also Montessorified this whole thing. I put her toothbrush, little glass, and toothpaste in my bathroom cabinet so she can reach it.  She likes the idea A LOT!  Of course she has also tried brushing both the pups teeth and tried putting toothpaste in their hair.  Why their hair I am simply not sure at all.  Lotion goes on our skin but toothpaste, which she knows goes on the toothbrush goes in hair? Who knows! Anyway, for those of you having issues check out this link it really helped us.  I don't believe in threats or bribing so I really like these approaches. Happy brushing! :-)

http://www.ahaparenting.com/ask-the-doctor-1/how-to-get-toddler-to-brush-teeth

the magic muffin tin snack

I knew Audrey was hungry. It was past "normal lunch time" which for us is around 12:30, and instead of giving her 1 snack, I wanted to give her variety. Somewhere in the back of my brain, I remember muffin tins as a snack tray! GENIUS!  Best-idea-ever, at least for this moment.  Audrey loved it; it was a complete hit.  She stood by her little table and munched away happily until it was nearly all gone. While happily munching away, she had a moment of utter excitement about something, I think she was waving her hands around dancing and accidentally knocked the tray over. She scared herself and I simply said "uh oh, that's okay, let's pick that up and put it back in the tray"  I put the tray on the ground and she picked it all up.  These days meals are not something Audrey is super interested in.  She is still the snacking toddler that I wrote about here, but now there are no real meals.  For example, this morning she had 1/2 piece uncured bacon, 1 bite of a homemade GF pancake, 3 small pieces of my GF english muffin, and 4 bites of Carlo's cinnamon raisin Udi's toast. Some days, like today, I may even make her a muffin tray of of dinner's leftovers, if it is possible.  Last night we went to Jason's Deli so for lunch today I made her a sliced hard boiled egg, carrots, strawberries, blueberries, a couple graham crackers, and some cheese.  Anyway, the thing is it's the perfect size for toddlers, it's organized in little compartments which we all know toddlers LOVE, and she gets to pick from a variety of foods what she what to eat at that moment.  This will now become a daily thing for sure! Check out this blog for some great muffin tin ideas!  It's always fun to try new things, it makes the OCD me and the baker in me, although there is clearly no baking involved, happy.

GF cheerios, dried cranberries, plantain chips, apples, strawberries, and goat cheddar

checking it out

loving it!

Audrey calls these "crackers"

if you can't tell this is Audrey's play area.

nearly all gone!

learning to let her do it herself

This is a tough concept.  To simply let her do it herself.  Sometimes that means the muffin tin gets knocked on the ground by accident and there's a huge mess. It's not a big deal, Audrey simply went and picked up what fell and we put the muffin tin on the table together. We then got our brooms and swept.  She is learning to drink from her small open glass, yes it is a glass, not plastic and is doing a great job.  Sometimes I want to help her, simply to intervene and say "if you tilt the glass further you can get the last bit of water" but I remind myself to sit back and just watch and not say anything aside from please stay in the kitchen while drinking from your glass.  It's a new skill she is learning and doing great.  Our little ones know how to do things, they really do, they listen to what we tell them and teach them very closely.  I have a few Montessori books that are coming in and I am excited to learn more about Maria Montessori and her philosophy.   I will make this short and sweet and leave you with a few links regarding age appropriateness of things and why it's important to let them do it themselves, even if it means getting frustrated.  I know when I get frustrated I become even more determined to do it myself without help.  Why not give that same respect to our little ones?

 http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/myth-of-magic-autonomous-age/

 http://sewliberated.typepad.com/sew_liberated/2011/01/play-dough-sculpting.html

 http://sewliberated.typepad.com/sew_liberated/2010/09/quenching-thirst-montessori-style.html




P.S. Happy 18 months to my sweet Audrey. We are celebrating 18 months of breastfeeding and I am still enjoying it!! :-)

bittersweet moments

The closer it gets to August the more I keep thinking how much I will miss my little girl during the day.  She recently learned how to say I love you and it melts my heart completely.  I ask her for big hugs and kisses and get them all the time.  I know while some mama's can't wait to get their little ones in another room to sleep, I am dreading it honestly.  Audrey sleeps on her mattress right beside my side of our bed and I love it. I can hear  her, and bring her in bed to snuggle and nurse around 3am most nights.  I love cuddling.  Our well laid out plan has gone a little astray.  The nanny we had will be out longer than anticipated and won't be back until the beginning of October.  This caused me quite the panic attack.  I am such a planned person and am very very picky when it comes to someone watching my little one.  In the end, I broke down and got on care.com and put a VERY specific profile that I am sure will scare some people away, but it will be the people I wouldn't be interested in anyway I am sure.  As far as my milk supply goes 5pm works far better for pumping than 8pm.  I can get 2oz at that time, the issue is not using it.  I had 4oz stored up and am back down to nothing...OY!  I am also playing for a movie in mid-August it's a 1 day all day type thing so....you can see where I might be getting a little stressed.  I go from a stay-at-home mom/occasionally gigging mom turned part-time working mom/still occasionally gigging mom.  I pumped, but not like all the time, at least not recently.  When Audrey was small I pumped because she needed milk during lessons or Carlo had to put her to sleep sometimes because of a lesson.  Now, I only pumped when I needed and if i skipped a day it wasn't a huge deal.  Sure it was nice to have an extra 8oz in the freezer, but now it's critical to pump EVERY day!  I can't afford to miss a day.  Audrey drinks at least 2oz for nap, maybe more, I am not sure honestly. I am the only one who has put her down and she nurses to sleep so yeah.  My mom-in-law, who was watching Audrey while I was at a workshop the other day, attempted to put her down for a nap, it didn't happen.  Instead, Audrey and I took a late 3:30pm nap and she went to sleep at 7pm.  Anyway, here I am being all bittersweet.  Forgive me. I love my little burrito so..much and enjoy her so much.  I know this new job I have will be good for us, trust me I know it will be, but it's not any easier.  I love teaching and playing and am really exciting, but this will be the first time I will be away  from Audrey on a regular basis.  What can I say attachment parenting worked not just for her but me too, I am quite attached.  How could you not be attached when you have a little one that is as cute as Audrey?

she put mama's shirt on all by herself!

Monthly Montessori

Hey there readers.  I told myself from now on, each month, or most months, I would order no more than $30 worth of things from the website For Small Hands, (or other AWESOME Montessori websites) I figured it would be a great way to build a great collection of useful things that Audrey would love.  So, last month I ordered a broom, watering can, and first glasses set.  Audrey found the broom first thing in the morning.  It was not even in plain sight, it was by our trash can! I didn't see the package until Audrey was in bed so she did not know about any of these things.  She had a blast throughout the day taking out her broom and "sweeping". At first she simply pushed the broom around, which was super cute!! Now, when we spill things during breakfast or lunch while sitting at her table I ask her to help mama sweep so she gets her broom! It's cute!!  As for the drinking glasses, they are tiny, but just her size.  Audrey never had a sippy cup.  She has only drank from open glasses, whatever we were drinking out of, or her Foogo straw thermos.  So, I suppose having her own tiny glass was not too big of a change for her.  Yes, she did dump the water out on the rug in the kitchen like 3 times.  Sure, she hasn't quite figured out how far to tilt the glass back.  Honestly, I just let her do her thing and supervise.  She has to learn on her own.  I let her watch me drink from a glass, but as far as helping her that doesn't really happen.  I try to show her that we water spills if we tilt the glass and dumping water out is not good, but that is really about it. She isn't a fan of her little drinking glass yet I think because she doesn't like spilling water on herself and I mean who could blame her for that.  We use her glasses once a day, she gets better each time.  I know one day it will simply click with her!  When papa got home later in the day the two of them went watered the flowers with her new watering can!  Carlo said she enjoyed dumping out the water, which is no surprise.  Seriously, we can't even leave the puppies water bowl down for 2 seconds in the morning or else it is ALL over the floor.  I figured with all the gardening we are doing and the building of our yoga area it would be such a great thing for her to have.  We are also starting an organic garden once the yoga area is done.  I think we need to tackle one project before starting another!  For this month, I am actually thinking about getting her some sandpaper letters because we read those alphabet books.  She knows her letters, but I think being able to feel the letter and trace it would re-enforce it even more.  I can't wait!!

 As for activities, here are those pictures of us playing with the play dough from a while ago.  In the end she did wind up eating it, which made me thankful I used blueberries for food coloring and not blue dye.  I think she liked the salty taste of it.  I mean it was Ocean Salt play dough! Remember to check out this recipe here at Chasing Cheerios.  She wasn't too interested but thought poking holes in it was pretty cool.  We will do it again for sure.   I also did the poetry basket and that was a HUGE hit!!!  We have done 2 poems so far and she just LOVES it!  I never would have thought a poetry basket would be so....fun with her at this age.  It's such a simple and great idea! Once again check out Chasing Cheerios for the poetry basket! 

oil, regular flour (don't waste good GF flour on playdough!) salt, and pureed blueberries

here's what the mix looks like before you cook it in a pot on the stove. It's goopy for sure

here's Audrey at her table poking at the playdough